Leadership often places us in situations where the right perspective isn’t always clear. The way we interpret and respond to those situations often depends on the lens we wear — a lens shaped by biases, experiences, and priorities.
The Story of Two Pencils
Imagine this: Two children are given pencils. A week later, one pencil remains sharp, unsharpened, and pristine. The other is small, worn, and noticeably used.
Depending on your perspective, you might:
- Commend the child with the new pencil for taking care of their belongings, preserving its original form.
- Praise the child with the worn pencil for making the most of it — creating, learning, and actively using the tool.
Both interpretations are valid, yet they tell very different stories about the same situation. As leaders, we often face similar dilemmas. Which pencil — or person — do we reward, and why?
Beyond Leadership: Parenting and Everyday Life
This lens applies beyond leadership — to parenting, education, and everyday interactions. As parents, we might face similar questions:
- Do we praise a child for keeping their toys intact or for wearing them out through imaginative play?
- Should we value neatness over creativity, or is there room to appreciate both?
In each case, the story we choose to see reflects our priorities and biases. Recognizing this can help us make more balanced and thoughtful decisions, whether as parents, educators, or mentors.
Decision-Making and Bias
In our roles as leaders, parents, educators, or mentors, we often face scenarios where judgment is required:
- Someone takes a risk, fails, and learns — do we focus on the failure or the effort?
- Another consistently meets expectations but avoids taking chances — do we value their reliability or question the lack of growth?
- Someone quietly works behind the scenes, delivering high-quality work without seeking recognition — do we notice their impact, or does their lack of visibility cause us to overlook them?
- A person excels in one area but struggles in another — do we focus on their strengths or get distracted by their weaknesses?
- Someone makes a strategic bet based on their analysis, but their analysis turns out to be wrong. Despite the flawed reasoning, the outcome turns out right due to external, unrelated factors. Do we praise the person for the successful result, or do we focus on the poor judgment and flawed analysis that led to the decision?
Our responses to such situations are shaped by biases, whether we recognize them or not. At times, we might reward what is most visible over what has deeper impact or favor immediate outcomes over sustained effort. Pressures like time constraints and competing priorities can also influence our judgment, sometimes leading us to overlook the full context.
The Brain’s Natural Shortcuts
Our brains are wired to seek patterns and make quick decisions. This can be helpful in managing day-to-day priorities but risky when evaluating others. For instance:
- Favoring what is most visible (Recency bias).
- Overvaluing initial impressions (Halo effect).
- Gravitation toward ideas that confirm what we already believe (Confirmation bias).
Without awareness, these shortcuts can oversimplify the complexity of people and situations. But when we pause to reflect, we can challenge these tendencies and uncover more nuanced insights.
Reflection Over Judgment
While there’s no perfect answer to the dilemmas leadership presents, pausing to reflect can help. Consider these questions:
- What assumptions am I making about this person or situation?
- Am I evaluating outcomes, effort, or a balance of both?
- Is my reaction influenced by urgency, pressure, or my own blind spots?
Reflection doesn’t eliminate bias, but it creates space for better judgment. Sometimes, it’s not about choosing the “right” perspective but being intentional about the lens through which we view the situation.
A Sharper Lens
Both pencils tell a story — one of care, the other of action. As leaders, parents, or mentors, the challenge isn’t in choosing which story matters more but in questioning the lens through which we interpret them.
The stories we tell about others often reflect the biases we carry. By sharpening our awareness, we move closer to understanding the full narrative — one that values complexity over simplicity, intention over reaction.
So, the next time you encounter a pencil, pause. What story do you think you’re seeing, and what truths might be hidden just beneath its surface?
Quiet Reflections 